so, the crazy prego dreams have set in. the first few were spectacular. the ones last night? not so much.
in the first one i miscarried. in the second one i went into preterm labor, and the drs weren't concerned and said there was nothing they could do...basically 'oh, well, too bad' and refused to take care of me. the baby crowned, and i pulled her out myself, but wouldn't let anyone cut the cord so she could keep getting oxygen until a nurse or doctor came back. (but before i pulled her out, i sat there for hours waiting for a nurse or someone to return...i was in denial that they had given up on us.) then she had meconium coming out of her ears, she had teeth, and lots of hair. no one helped me clean her up, so i did it myself, and then wandered the halls with her begging for someone to check her out and make sure she was ok.
i know they are just dreams. but i am doing my damndest to think positively and not worry, and chiz like that doesn't help. after i got out of the shower this morning i sat on my bed and cried for a few minutes.
....they are just dreams. i know. i do. i just hope i don't have anymore.
at least my nausea is getting better. it doesn't really kick in now until lunch time, and then gets worse after i get home. but it's better than 24/7 nastiness.
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